Alleluia! We have cake!
Happy Easter! A personal update and a writing question.
Okay, people. I have quite a few new readers. Hooray! Happy to have you here! Many of you have been finding me through
and which is truly an honor because I am a huge fan of their work and often link to them. A number of my posts are inspired by my Classical studies, like this one about Telemachus and the crises that face modern men, a more recent essay about the Guernica debacle coinciding with the Ides of March, and an update from my Iliad-inspired field trip to the Met to meet up with my Catherine Project friends.However, you are not getting something classical today. Instead, you are getting a picture of a cake I made for my husband.
His birthday is March 31st, and every time his birthday falls on Easter he gets this bunny-shaped coconut cake.1 First, his nana would make it for him. And then his mother. Now that both of them have passed away I get to make it. Traditions don’t die on my watch.
Some of you may have noticed that my publishing schedule has fallen off a little bit. The last half of Lent has been more hectic than I anticipated. (Culminating in me getting the flu.) Lately I have posted only if some timely event triggers an essay, like a friend’s note about Ibsen’s birthday (thank you
) which then relates interestingly to my lector role on Palm Sunday.This is not to say that I am not writing. In fact, I have 25+ essays in my drafts folder that need polishing. I only want to publish if my work is somehow appropriate and crafted. However, another reason why I do not share my writing is because some of it is personal and, for lack of a better word, controversial. I am not necessarily afraid of debate, but I want to defend them well. For example, I recently got into an argument on another social media platform about Christianity, suicide, and Cormac McCarthy’s novel The Road. I have written about my own mental health struggles in the past, like in this piece on Anna Karenina. The experience of interacting with people who lacked compassion for those who suffered from suicidal ideation was incredibly draining. If I post something here, I want to make sure I have the energy to engage meaningfully with people in comments. I have not always been able to do that.
When I began this Substack I thought I would be writing about my work in special education advocacy. However, it turns out that it would be difficult to do that without making it seem like I am using my experience of serving people as fodder for my paid writing. And of course writing about one’s family can be a very fraught endeavor. I know that even discussing my own invisible disabilities has a ripple effect to those closest to me.
Prudence to some looks like cowardice to others.
I have a question for my writing friends…
What are the reasons why you do not post an essay?
I am truly curious about your answers because I struggle with this. Please leave a comment or use the lovely direct messaging function that Substack recently rolled out.
As my family enters Eastertide we will be definitely be in a more celebratory mood in the house. However, in the next week or two I may be posting some of the contemplative essays I wrote during Lent, and I think those may be a bit more somber. I also have some shorter time-sensitive posts I have been meaning to put out into the world so please pardon the erratic schedule.
For those who were hoping for something more educational today, my friend
has been publishing every day of Holy Week, culminating in today’s Easter Sunday post. It’s made for some great daily reading for me. (How did I not know that Wednesday of Holy Week was called Spy Wednesday?)Thank you so much for being here. I will be back with something more typical later. God bless you all, and happy Easter for those who celebrate!
It comes with a bowtie shape but it will be transported separately because the cake container could not fit it.
Oh, wow, do I struggle with this. Not the least is the question of writing about what I learn as a teacher without risking anyone feeling that I've betrayed confidences. And then there's the personal things. I've written about being bipolar, about struggling with CSA issues and estrangement, and recently about cancer treatment. My greatest fear is the comments that say "brave" when they are actually chiding. ("I don't have a need to be public about my personal problems" kind of attitude.) But I think things through with a first draft. And the comments that say - reading this was cathartic because I can't put it into words, mean everything to me. I've only just found Chloe Hope's substack Death & Birds, which is gorgeous. Personal and not. I consider reading it furthering my education. (And what a joy to listen to!)
Zina, congratulations on all the new readers—well deserved. And a happy birthday to your husband. I am not a big fan of cake, but that looks quite amazing. My wife loves coconut, so I imagine that would be a big hit in our house.
I wish I had a better answer for you, but so far, I haven't encountered the problem of not publishing an essay. Maybe it's because this is just a really busy time for me, but I typically only have between 3 and 6 articles in draft, so when it comes time to publish, I grab one and go!
Your point, though, is valid. There are some topics I stay away from intentionally because I want to avoid getting into those discussions, primarily politics and religion. If others want to write about them, that is fine, but I just prefer to try finding common ground. However, even when I feel my articles are benign, sometimes someone will make a comment that baffles me. I realize there are people out there who want to argue about anything.
It is also important to know our boundaries and what we are comfortable discussing. We may not have the emotional bandwidth to approach challenging topics at times, and that is okay, too. I think it is important to write what resonates and what you feel is central to your experience right now. And there are no rules on periodicity, so post when you feel like it!