Happy Easter, Zina! and happy belated birthday to your husband - the cake looks adorable.
Congrats on your new readers - so well deserved!
I'd be interested in all those topics - special education advocacy, classics, and the liturgical calendar. I just got on my first Catherine Project class on Thoreau's Walking - it was the only I could get lol.
Why I wouldn't publish -
1. How am I sure that it is done and polished? Is too polished/clever? Is it aware of it's blind spots?
2. How do I know what's interesting to me is interesting to anyone else?
3. The person who wrote this essay will be different in a few days or months and how am I not going to cringe at that person?
Hi Dave, Thank you so much for the comment, and sorry for the late reply. I’ve been thinking a lot about the answers to this post. That third reason for not writing re: cringe factor is an interesting one. I guess I am constantly cringing at my writing because I actually have to write wicked fast (as we say in Boston). Just an hour ago I read through another one of my posts and was horrified so I edited it and reposted with better phrasing. I guess we all just have to be humble. I always feel a bit better when I see Ted Gioia make a typo. I guess it shows it wasn’t AI-generated!
Happy Easter Zina! You may find it a delightful coincidence that both our significant others have the same birthday.
As for why I might choose to not post an essay: I try to keep it topical to my macro goals, which are all linked to literature and the return of literary greatness in some form or another. That is my general filter, and it works. Although sometimes I succumb to temptation and write about something unrelated.
Hi Felix! Wow, we have partners who are birthday buddies. How fun!
I like your answer to the question and it reflects how I see you as a writer as well. You are definitely a lot more intellectual and focused, and I am more intuitive and associative. I greatly admire the craft in your posts and deep knowledge.
Gorgeous cake! I hope your family had a wonderful Easter and birthday.
I think you are wise and smart to draft but withhold material that doesn't feel right for the public eye, or for this or any other platform. I share some of the same boundaries about writing. Family topics and topics that might seem to make "material" of people who are more than that just sit in the draft box while I wait to see if an "angle" comes along that provides the privacy or the approach that makes it work. This doesn't always happen.
Hi Tara, Thank you for the comment. I’ve been mulling everything over and just getting to replies now. First, thank you about the cake. It’s a cute one for sure. I love excuses to bring a touch of whimsy into our lives! And secondly, relationships are the material of our lives. It is tempting to use them for inspiration, but some things are not for public consumption. Trust seems to be everything right now. Hard to build; easy to break. Trust goes hand in hand with privacy.
What a lovely post, Zina, and Happy (belated) Easter! Congratulations on the growth of your publication here on Substack, much deserved! I'm a huge fan of Classical Wisdom as well and could spend hours reading through their available literature. As far as choosing what content to publish versus what not to publish, I find myself erring on the side of caution more than hitting the publish button quickly. Sometimes I'll write a piece, and it will be months before I'm comfortable enough posting. These posts generally are either very personal, or could be considered controversial because of their timely nature. I also tend to edit right up until the piece goes live as well. I'm looking forward to your forthcoming essays, and always enjoy your perspective on things!
Love your writing and music, Rebecca! I am so happy to have met you on Substack. And your reasons for not publishing are totally sound. I feel like if I wait too long to write something I fall out of a groove so I aim for entries that are 7-10 days apart. Anything longer and I am in danger of falling off the wagon. However, I always have something I can fix up and make relevant if absolute necessary.
Oh, wow, do I struggle with this. Not the least is the question of writing about what I learn as a teacher without risking anyone feeling that I've betrayed confidences. And then there's the personal things. I've written about being bipolar, about struggling with CSA issues and estrangement, and recently about cancer treatment. My greatest fear is the comments that say "brave" when they are actually chiding. ("I don't have a need to be public about my personal problems" kind of attitude.) But I think things through with a first draft. And the comments that say - reading this was cathartic because I can't put it into words, mean everything to me. I've only just found Chloe Hope's substack Death & Birds, which is gorgeous. Personal and not. I consider reading it furthering my education. (And what a joy to listen to!)
Ten, thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. I am just replying now to all the comments because I’ve actually read them many times over, trying to figure out how to tackle certain topics. What you said about “brave” comments rings so true. I believe writing to be a mutual gift: one for the reader and one for the writer. Part of that gift can be writing from a vulnerable place. It’s a form of intimacy, I think. But it should not be cheapened. Privacy, trust, and integrity are actually difficult things for writers to juggle when they delve into genres such as memoir. I’m going to think about this some more, but I wanted to say how much I appreciate your answer! ❤️ Zina
Zina, congratulations on all the new readers—well deserved. And a happy birthday to your husband. I am not a big fan of cake, but that looks quite amazing. My wife loves coconut, so I imagine that would be a big hit in our house.
I wish I had a better answer for you, but so far, I haven't encountered the problem of not publishing an essay. Maybe it's because this is just a really busy time for me, but I typically only have between 3 and 6 articles in draft, so when it comes time to publish, I grab one and go!
Your point, though, is valid. There are some topics I stay away from intentionally because I want to avoid getting into those discussions, primarily politics and religion. If others want to write about them, that is fine, but I just prefer to try finding common ground. However, even when I feel my articles are benign, sometimes someone will make a comment that baffles me. I realize there are people out there who want to argue about anything.
It is also important to know our boundaries and what we are comfortable discussing. We may not have the emotional bandwidth to approach challenging topics at times, and that is okay, too. I think it is important to write what resonates and what you feel is central to your experience right now. And there are no rules on periodicity, so post when you feel like it!
Landed here by way of Adam Lujan's comment in notes -- but you are a reader as well, so awesome!
As for reasons why not to post, or write about a particular topic, first of all I try to remember to write and speak from personal experience. It doesn't do me a lot of good in the end to pontificate about things—unless I can do so based on my own path with, through, and around them.
The other major reason that comes to mind is about boundaries. I tend to be fairly open about what I write about, and that's been very freeing, and also bolstered my sense of self, but sometimes I get a feeling that it would be better to wait, let the material cook a bit longer. Also, if the material involves other people, I will often ask if it's OK to write about someone, or certainly honor a request not to be included in my work.
Happy Easter, Zina! I love the birthday cake tradition; and that's a good looking cake!! My husband's family loves strawberry shortcake, so I took on the tradition of making one for my husband when his birthday comes along. Before we were married, I had never made one. 😊
As far as my reasons for not publishing my prose or poetry -- they're all the reasons you shared. Too personal (family related), or too controversial. I remember years ago on Wordpress, I wrote about my habit (at the time) of wearing a chapel veil. It got a lot of comments, including the weird kind where people called me names. I don't really have the desire to revisit that high school drama energy. 🙃
Love the cake. My mother used to make cakes like dolls for my children's birthdays. Thanks so for mentioning me in your NOTE--a gift that means much, and Matthew Long has been a grand reader of my memoir that you've been reading, as time allows.
I smiled at the birthday/Easter cake - My birthday also sometimes falls on Easter (Mar 30 for me), so I have fun memories of the times those celebrations came together!
When I hesitate to post - and especially because I write about my personal life and my son - it is usually because I'm not ready to share, or something feels inauthentic (the story I thought I'd tell has been shifted based on what's happening in this moment), or I haven't quite figured out the balance of writing honestly and also with an eye to privacy and respect. It is a complicated thing! I hope that you find the right balance for you.
Happy belated birthday, Robin! Yes, it seems like there are changing attitudes towards privacy. Sometimes it is tempting to cash in on personal matters for the feeling of feeling seen. It’s a source of validation, but at what cost? And when it comes to kids, it’s hard because they can’t really consent. I feel like it is always better to be conservative. But if we don’t highlight real and urgent needs then they never get addressed.
I love the cake for two main reasons: 1. I agree with keeping traditions alive and going, 2. For some reason it made me think that "we do the best with the ingredients we have" and personally I feel that the "coconut-for-hair" is pure genius and I imagine it's quite tasty as well.
With that said, and regarding the meat of your post, it's funny because when I'm reading other authors I always think to myself the advice "Post it, be courageous, controversial writing is the best and most essential writing!" but when it comes to myself and my own writing I am actually pretty tame and non-controversial (at least compared to what's swimming around in my head sometimes).
I will often swing between the two extremes of "my writing is boring, better spice it up" and "better safe than sorry". I can see the positives and drawbacks to each side, and in fact it makes me respect the authors who are able to put out controversial thoughts (and change the world for the better, usually), while I still do take the safe route in my own writing. Which, considering mine is a personal "memoir" style substack, is interesting to me.
In fact I am considering taking my substack in a somewhat new direction basically writing "book reviews" of the many books I read, which in some ways I consider the safest route rather than looking inward and sharing my experiences. Sometimes I do think about rushing head long into the controversial, which is definitely something I would have done in my younger days without even as much as a second thought, but these days I find myself tempered a bit more by wisdom and hard won life lessons.
Thank you so much, Joaquin. Your comments on something I was thinking about… how we tell people to be open and vulnerable but in a sense we risk nothing of ourselves. It is a one way street. We learn things about a person that 50 years ago we would have only known through an investment of our time and friendship. Technology has created a shortcut to intimacy which may or may not be a good thing. We cash our privacy chips for the currency of validation (which feels like love, but it isn’t). Anyways…. More to think about!
First, I love coconut cake. It's my favorite cake by a wide margin. That picture triggered my "mimetic desire."
If I eat it later today, I will credit (calorically blame?) you!
Months ago, I wrote an emotional take on the situation in the Middle East and then decided on Friday night not to post it the next morning. I thought it would just add to the rancor and would do no one any good.
There are personal stories I would like to tell, but they involve me as an observer rather than a participant, and some of the people I observed are still alive.
As you know I write a lot about privilege and so for self-care I try to handle transparency with not coming off as tone deaf.
I'm reading Anna K. now. I read it a long time ago so this feels like my first real reading. I echo Jeffrey in his comment below that you have had interactions with people who lack compassion.
I happily take the blame for you eating coconut cake today!
And yes, writing about the Middle East is so fraught. Sigh. I actually have an essay re: Shakespeare and Gaza—not published obviously.
And Anna K is one of those books that one should revisit at different points of life. I feel the same about The Bros K which is so resonant. Great novels reveal themselves over time and in layers.
Hi Zina, I'm impressed that you have so many essays in draft form! I have many ideas and plenty of notes but few drafted essays at any one time.
You asked about reasons for not publishing - I think mostly for me that's about feeling the essay is not ready. In terms of subject matter, I've already decided that there are certain boundaries relating to other people in my life that I won't cross, so I have aimed my course accordingly. The course will change, no doubt.
I'm sorry to hear about your interactions with people lacking compassion. I can imagine how draining that must be.
You know, sometimes difficult things never seem ready. The most complex things we encounter in our lives may take our whole lifetimes to puzzle out, and to paraphrase a character in Wendell Berry’s Jayber Crow, it may take longer.
But establishing those boundaries is so smart. I have tried to do that—hence so many essays. And yet, these are not merely journal entries. (I have a journal too.) They really do touch upon other issues that i believe are important. Issues regarding race, religion, being the object of sexual predation at a young age, etc. However, I have wanted to tell these stories in a powerful way… and I suppose I don’t believe my writing style has evolved yet to the level I need it to be. But at what point do I say, I am a good enough craftsperson to tell this story?
I don’t know. I admire your writing very much. And let me say on this bright New England Easter morning what a delight it is to see your name in the comments.
Happy Easter, Zina! and happy belated birthday to your husband - the cake looks adorable.
Congrats on your new readers - so well deserved!
I'd be interested in all those topics - special education advocacy, classics, and the liturgical calendar. I just got on my first Catherine Project class on Thoreau's Walking - it was the only I could get lol.
Why I wouldn't publish -
1. How am I sure that it is done and polished? Is too polished/clever? Is it aware of it's blind spots?
2. How do I know what's interesting to me is interesting to anyone else?
3. The person who wrote this essay will be different in a few days or months and how am I not going to cringe at that person?
Hi Dave, Thank you so much for the comment, and sorry for the late reply. I’ve been thinking a lot about the answers to this post. That third reason for not writing re: cringe factor is an interesting one. I guess I am constantly cringing at my writing because I actually have to write wicked fast (as we say in Boston). Just an hour ago I read through another one of my posts and was horrified so I edited it and reposted with better phrasing. I guess we all just have to be humble. I always feel a bit better when I see Ted Gioia make a typo. I guess it shows it wasn’t AI-generated!
Happy Easter Zina! You may find it a delightful coincidence that both our significant others have the same birthday.
As for why I might choose to not post an essay: I try to keep it topical to my macro goals, which are all linked to literature and the return of literary greatness in some form or another. That is my general filter, and it works. Although sometimes I succumb to temptation and write about something unrelated.
Hi Felix! Wow, we have partners who are birthday buddies. How fun!
I like your answer to the question and it reflects how I see you as a writer as well. You are definitely a lot more intellectual and focused, and I am more intuitive and associative. I greatly admire the craft in your posts and deep knowledge.
Gorgeous cake! I hope your family had a wonderful Easter and birthday.
I think you are wise and smart to draft but withhold material that doesn't feel right for the public eye, or for this or any other platform. I share some of the same boundaries about writing. Family topics and topics that might seem to make "material" of people who are more than that just sit in the draft box while I wait to see if an "angle" comes along that provides the privacy or the approach that makes it work. This doesn't always happen.
Hi Tara, Thank you for the comment. I’ve been mulling everything over and just getting to replies now. First, thank you about the cake. It’s a cute one for sure. I love excuses to bring a touch of whimsy into our lives! And secondly, relationships are the material of our lives. It is tempting to use them for inspiration, but some things are not for public consumption. Trust seems to be everything right now. Hard to build; easy to break. Trust goes hand in hand with privacy.
Spoken like one who listens to her heart.
What a lovely post, Zina, and Happy (belated) Easter! Congratulations on the growth of your publication here on Substack, much deserved! I'm a huge fan of Classical Wisdom as well and could spend hours reading through their available literature. As far as choosing what content to publish versus what not to publish, I find myself erring on the side of caution more than hitting the publish button quickly. Sometimes I'll write a piece, and it will be months before I'm comfortable enough posting. These posts generally are either very personal, or could be considered controversial because of their timely nature. I also tend to edit right up until the piece goes live as well. I'm looking forward to your forthcoming essays, and always enjoy your perspective on things!
Love your writing and music, Rebecca! I am so happy to have met you on Substack. And your reasons for not publishing are totally sound. I feel like if I wait too long to write something I fall out of a groove so I aim for entries that are 7-10 days apart. Anything longer and I am in danger of falling off the wagon. However, I always have something I can fix up and make relevant if absolute necessary.
I love the cake! And so great that readers are finding you :D
Thank you so much. Yes, your endorsement has given me the most subscribers by far. I am incredibly grateful for your knowledge and your kindness!
Oh, wow, do I struggle with this. Not the least is the question of writing about what I learn as a teacher without risking anyone feeling that I've betrayed confidences. And then there's the personal things. I've written about being bipolar, about struggling with CSA issues and estrangement, and recently about cancer treatment. My greatest fear is the comments that say "brave" when they are actually chiding. ("I don't have a need to be public about my personal problems" kind of attitude.) But I think things through with a first draft. And the comments that say - reading this was cathartic because I can't put it into words, mean everything to me. I've only just found Chloe Hope's substack Death & Birds, which is gorgeous. Personal and not. I consider reading it furthering my education. (And what a joy to listen to!)
Ten, thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. I am just replying now to all the comments because I’ve actually read them many times over, trying to figure out how to tackle certain topics. What you said about “brave” comments rings so true. I believe writing to be a mutual gift: one for the reader and one for the writer. Part of that gift can be writing from a vulnerable place. It’s a form of intimacy, I think. But it should not be cheapened. Privacy, trust, and integrity are actually difficult things for writers to juggle when they delve into genres such as memoir. I’m going to think about this some more, but I wanted to say how much I appreciate your answer! ❤️ Zina
Zina, congratulations on all the new readers—well deserved. And a happy birthday to your husband. I am not a big fan of cake, but that looks quite amazing. My wife loves coconut, so I imagine that would be a big hit in our house.
I wish I had a better answer for you, but so far, I haven't encountered the problem of not publishing an essay. Maybe it's because this is just a really busy time for me, but I typically only have between 3 and 6 articles in draft, so when it comes time to publish, I grab one and go!
Your point, though, is valid. There are some topics I stay away from intentionally because I want to avoid getting into those discussions, primarily politics and religion. If others want to write about them, that is fine, but I just prefer to try finding common ground. However, even when I feel my articles are benign, sometimes someone will make a comment that baffles me. I realize there are people out there who want to argue about anything.
It is also important to know our boundaries and what we are comfortable discussing. We may not have the emotional bandwidth to approach challenging topics at times, and that is okay, too. I think it is important to write what resonates and what you feel is central to your experience right now. And there are no rules on periodicity, so post when you feel like it!
Landed here by way of Adam Lujan's comment in notes -- but you are a reader as well, so awesome!
As for reasons why not to post, or write about a particular topic, first of all I try to remember to write and speak from personal experience. It doesn't do me a lot of good in the end to pontificate about things—unless I can do so based on my own path with, through, and around them.
The other major reason that comes to mind is about boundaries. I tend to be fairly open about what I write about, and that's been very freeing, and also bolstered my sense of self, but sometimes I get a feeling that it would be better to wait, let the material cook a bit longer. Also, if the material involves other people, I will often ask if it's OK to write about someone, or certainly honor a request not to be included in my work.
Happy Easter, Zina! I love the birthday cake tradition; and that's a good looking cake!! My husband's family loves strawberry shortcake, so I took on the tradition of making one for my husband when his birthday comes along. Before we were married, I had never made one. 😊
As far as my reasons for not publishing my prose or poetry -- they're all the reasons you shared. Too personal (family related), or too controversial. I remember years ago on Wordpress, I wrote about my habit (at the time) of wearing a chapel veil. It got a lot of comments, including the weird kind where people called me names. I don't really have the desire to revisit that high school drama energy. 🙃
Love the cake. My mother used to make cakes like dolls for my children's birthdays. Thanks so for mentioning me in your NOTE--a gift that means much, and Matthew Long has been a grand reader of my memoir that you've been reading, as time allows.
I smiled at the birthday/Easter cake - My birthday also sometimes falls on Easter (Mar 30 for me), so I have fun memories of the times those celebrations came together!
When I hesitate to post - and especially because I write about my personal life and my son - it is usually because I'm not ready to share, or something feels inauthentic (the story I thought I'd tell has been shifted based on what's happening in this moment), or I haven't quite figured out the balance of writing honestly and also with an eye to privacy and respect. It is a complicated thing! I hope that you find the right balance for you.
Happy belated birthday, Robin! Yes, it seems like there are changing attitudes towards privacy. Sometimes it is tempting to cash in on personal matters for the feeling of feeling seen. It’s a source of validation, but at what cost? And when it comes to kids, it’s hard because they can’t really consent. I feel like it is always better to be conservative. But if we don’t highlight real and urgent needs then they never get addressed.
Hi Zina,
I love the cake for two main reasons: 1. I agree with keeping traditions alive and going, 2. For some reason it made me think that "we do the best with the ingredients we have" and personally I feel that the "coconut-for-hair" is pure genius and I imagine it's quite tasty as well.
With that said, and regarding the meat of your post, it's funny because when I'm reading other authors I always think to myself the advice "Post it, be courageous, controversial writing is the best and most essential writing!" but when it comes to myself and my own writing I am actually pretty tame and non-controversial (at least compared to what's swimming around in my head sometimes).
I will often swing between the two extremes of "my writing is boring, better spice it up" and "better safe than sorry". I can see the positives and drawbacks to each side, and in fact it makes me respect the authors who are able to put out controversial thoughts (and change the world for the better, usually), while I still do take the safe route in my own writing. Which, considering mine is a personal "memoir" style substack, is interesting to me.
In fact I am considering taking my substack in a somewhat new direction basically writing "book reviews" of the many books I read, which in some ways I consider the safest route rather than looking inward and sharing my experiences. Sometimes I do think about rushing head long into the controversial, which is definitely something I would have done in my younger days without even as much as a second thought, but these days I find myself tempered a bit more by wisdom and hard won life lessons.
Thank you so much, Joaquin. Your comments on something I was thinking about… how we tell people to be open and vulnerable but in a sense we risk nothing of ourselves. It is a one way street. We learn things about a person that 50 years ago we would have only known through an investment of our time and friendship. Technology has created a shortcut to intimacy which may or may not be a good thing. We cash our privacy chips for the currency of validation (which feels like love, but it isn’t). Anyways…. More to think about!
Wishing you and your family a very happy Easter, Zina.
Thank you so much, Erika! It is a blessing to see your name in my comments! ❤️❤️❤️
Hi Zina,
First, I love coconut cake. It's my favorite cake by a wide margin. That picture triggered my "mimetic desire."
If I eat it later today, I will credit (calorically blame?) you!
Months ago, I wrote an emotional take on the situation in the Middle East and then decided on Friday night not to post it the next morning. I thought it would just add to the rancor and would do no one any good.
There are personal stories I would like to tell, but they involve me as an observer rather than a participant, and some of the people I observed are still alive.
As you know I write a lot about privilege and so for self-care I try to handle transparency with not coming off as tone deaf.
I'm reading Anna K. now. I read it a long time ago so this feels like my first real reading. I echo Jeffrey in his comment below that you have had interactions with people who lack compassion.
I happily take the blame for you eating coconut cake today!
And yes, writing about the Middle East is so fraught. Sigh. I actually have an essay re: Shakespeare and Gaza—not published obviously.
And Anna K is one of those books that one should revisit at different points of life. I feel the same about The Bros K which is so resonant. Great novels reveal themselves over time and in layers.
Hi Zina, I'm impressed that you have so many essays in draft form! I have many ideas and plenty of notes but few drafted essays at any one time.
You asked about reasons for not publishing - I think mostly for me that's about feeling the essay is not ready. In terms of subject matter, I've already decided that there are certain boundaries relating to other people in my life that I won't cross, so I have aimed my course accordingly. The course will change, no doubt.
I'm sorry to hear about your interactions with people lacking compassion. I can imagine how draining that must be.
You know, sometimes difficult things never seem ready. The most complex things we encounter in our lives may take our whole lifetimes to puzzle out, and to paraphrase a character in Wendell Berry’s Jayber Crow, it may take longer.
But establishing those boundaries is so smart. I have tried to do that—hence so many essays. And yet, these are not merely journal entries. (I have a journal too.) They really do touch upon other issues that i believe are important. Issues regarding race, religion, being the object of sexual predation at a young age, etc. However, I have wanted to tell these stories in a powerful way… and I suppose I don’t believe my writing style has evolved yet to the level I need it to be. But at what point do I say, I am a good enough craftsperson to tell this story?
I don’t know. I admire your writing very much. And let me say on this bright New England Easter morning what a delight it is to see your name in the comments.