I read Anna Karenina as a middle-aged man, and could not shake that how sick the russian society was, and the profound depths of Anna's mental illness. I could not see love there because I don't believe love is compatible with narcissism or borderline personality disorders. I just saw people who needed serious intervention.
I do wonder what the book would have been to 25 year old me!
Thank you so much! Anna Karenina can be tough for reasons you touch on. Les Misérables is a favorite of one of my friends. Why do you think this particular book speaks to you more than others?
It changed the way I thought about poverty and cruelty. It was such a harsh indictment of early industrial society, but it had the underlying sense of redemption.
Well, this was absolutely lovely. The metaphors, the quotations, the personal journey. Marvelous! My never ending saga is with Joyce's Ulysses. I have pretty much read the entire thing, but only in pieces. Sometimes I get through some 300 pages like a breeze. At other times 10 pages will bog me down for months, especially if I start researching the deeper meaning embedded within each chapter. Plus, I always have a dozen or so books that I am reading at one time. I perhaps have something akin to the attention span of a goldfish when it comes to reading only one book at a time. Nevertheless, I have given myself the next thirty or so years to finish Ulysses, at one time, from start to finish, with no other books in distraction. So, one day, and someday hopefully sooner than later...
Thank you for the kind words. It means a lot to me. Joyce’s Ulysses is quite the book! I think the thing about these long classic novels is that due to their complexity and length you can develop a relationship with them over a long period of time. That complexity comes at first from the author and their excellent craft, but later you realize it also comes from you the reader. Your soul, if you let it, becomes transformed by the beauty that lies within the pages of a story. Reading slowly is has long been disparaged and discounted. I believe our liquidly modern society has forgotten the virtue of patience. Bless you in your reading of Joyce. Sometimes the slow road is the better one. For some stories it may be the only one. ❤️
"I believe our liquidly modern society has forgotten the virtue of patience." Hear, hear! as Patience is most certainly one of our lost virtues! I cannot believe you just said this, as I ever so often say this, especially to the younger people in my family. Did we pick this up from somewhere? Aristotle, perhaps? Either way, it is so true! And regarding the relationship with these lengthy books... I often sit with Joyce, or Plato (as of late) and think about someone reading my work 100 years, heck 2000+ years from now, and not only that, but again, and again, and again. It is hard to grasp a relationship like that with such longevity, such that no doubt transforms the reader. It is truly a powerful thing! Anyhow, keep up the great writing, Zina. I so look forward to reading it.
Such a beautiful post. This is a heart wrenching read but uplifting too. And your experience with AK is a bit like mine with opera. When I first discovered it (I didn't come from a musical family) I always knew it would be important to me, but sensed it couldn't happen while I was so young. That was true. But I wrongly thought that I needed to know more about music in order to "get" opera. In fact, and your essay helps me to see this, it was life that I needed to know more about in order to appreciate the true beauty of the form.
It is a wonderful recollection, and Dana is an incredible poet and critic in his own right.
I think you will appreciate the piece that is launching tomorrow about a particular piece of classical music. The story behind it is quite touching. In the end, this is what art is at its best. It isn't soulless AI-generated drivel. It is the work of real lived experience, especially the most painful moments. Good art delights us, but the best art heals us.
Finally, I must say this, it is an honor that you read my post. I have admired your work and look up to you as a writer. I only started writing last year with no following whatsoever and barely any writing under my belt in decades since I left college. Substack has given me a way to share all these thoughts I have had stuck in my brain for so long. This platform has given me a voice.
Zina, thank you for the tip about the Dana Gioia essay, which I enjoyed reading. And I look forward to the piece that's launching tomorrow! Thank you for your kind words about my writing. And I love what you say about Substack giving you a chance to share thoughts that had been stuck in your brain. When I came to Substack last September, having retired from full-time employment a year earlier, I wasn't sure whether any of my long-buried desire to write had survived the long winter of bureaucratic life. A few months later, and thanks to the support of many great people here, I'm happy to be still writing, still learning.
Such a beautiful post. This is a heart wrenching read but uplifting too. And your experience with AK is a bit like mine with opera. When I first discovered it (I didn't come from a musical family) I always knew it would be important to me, but sensed it couldn't happen while I was so young. That was true. But I wrongly thought that I needed to know more about music in order to "get" opera. In fact, and your essay helps me to see this, it was life that I needed to know more about in order to appreciate the true beauty of the form.
Zina, apologies for taking a few days to get to this after you referred me to it. So glad you did! So many things occurred to me to say about it as I read that for the sake of brevity, I need to reduce them to this: how fully human this essay is, vulnerable and sharing and wide in its references, infused with the love of books and reading and relationship, in such delicate, fluid writing, it was an easy and touching pleasure. I can't not read you now! (Aha, that was the plan. ;)
Zina, Would you be interested in coming on my podcast to talk about poetry, what you are learning, and a favorite poem off yours to illustrate? I will be posting my poems in a linked podcast.
Zina, the first set dates to 2014, 2023 and somewhere in between, respectively. They may have been too strong for you and your current situation. Whatever that is. I apologize. The first in a time of grieving, and I think I may have shared it already. The second was actually written for a competition to write a poem in honor of The poem's title is the same as one of his works.The last is a piece just done for fun to see how tightly I could express the meaning of the gifts and the fruits of the spirit. I have now read about the gifts in more detail, and I realize I didn't actually get them right, so I may need to revise.
These were gems to me because I remember the old versions and these have been substantially improved. I was deeply moved :-).
I first heard these versions yesterday. I came upon them by accident and don't even remember making the recordings. I apologize if they were too much for you, so I hope you went into the second set which is lovelier, certainly more serene.
The thing that struck me the most about the poems when read was the element of alliteration and internal rhyme that seems to me more sophisticated than I have usually achieved.
These are wonderful, Ann! Thank you so much and I can hear so much of yourself in it. I just have not been able to respond because I wanted to finish all of them, and I want to make sure I have some uninterrupted time (very hard in this house!). Anyway, thank you so much for sharing this with me. It is truly an honor! <3
Zina, I found some gems I thought I’d share. For those who love poetry, and for people who struggle, grieve, or seek peace. I am typing this on my phone so I don't know how this will go.
I think I will have to copy and paste so I will put them in my podcasts also. Pardon me.
AK is my all-time favorite book. I’ve read it in both the original Russian and in two (or maybe three?) English translations (my favorite many times over), and every time I return to it, I find something new to delight me and make me fall in love with Tolstoy all over again. AK has become a touchstone for all the highs and lows in my life, and I return to it not only for that sense of wonder I discovered within its pages the first time I read it as a very young woman, early on in college, but also for the reminder of all I have enjoyed and endured thus far. It is a source of encouragement and gratitude I depend on when life knocks me around a bit--a gift from Leo Tolstoy I will never be able to thank him enough for, and the embodiment of all I cherish most about literature.
I have now heard from a number of people for whom Anna has changed their lives. I think there are so many characters that it is easy to identify with someone. It must be wonderful to be able to read it in the original Russian. I wish I could. Language is pregnant with culture. Thank you for sharing your love of AK! ❤️
Zina, I was deeply moved by this essay, so calm, almost tranquil, while talking about deep pain. I can't read tragedies right now--I identify too strongly--just as I can't read horror stories. They take up residence in my skull and haunt me.
I am so sorry you have had such pain. But I am grateful your husband is there with you. Our hearts are fragile fluttering things, easily crushed but capable of great and generous love. I am with you in spirit-- I have not written that part of my life yet.
Thank you so much, Ann. It’s a hard part to write. I went on a New York trip where I met my Catherine Project classmates and teacher. I struggled to answer questions about my life and this was a way of answering one of them. I hope you can get the opportunity to tell your own story when you wish to, if you wish to.
This is wonderful! I’d read your comment in The Books That Made Us about your threshold goal, and I loved the way you worded it. Because this year I am reading fewer books too. And I am very committed to not surpassing my goal!
I love this story about Anna Karenina too. It did not take me 30 years to read the book but it took what felt like an eternity.
And then after 30 years you can read a different translation:). I first read AK in my early twenties for pretty much the same reason and rereading now I’m struck by the exploration of marriage in the same way.
I don’t think you can read Anna as a young unmarried person and get as much out of this novel. It’s such a different book as a middle aged person. I would love to do a comparison of different translations. I did that with Bros K.
Love this. My forever book was Les Miserables.
I read Anna Karenina as a middle-aged man, and could not shake that how sick the russian society was, and the profound depths of Anna's mental illness. I could not see love there because I don't believe love is compatible with narcissism or borderline personality disorders. I just saw people who needed serious intervention.
I do wonder what the book would have been to 25 year old me!
Thank you so much! Anna Karenina can be tough for reasons you touch on. Les Misérables is a favorite of one of my friends. Why do you think this particular book speaks to you more than others?
It changed the way I thought about poverty and cruelty. It was such a harsh indictment of early industrial society, but it had the underlying sense of redemption.
And I learned quite a bit about sewers…
Well, this was absolutely lovely. The metaphors, the quotations, the personal journey. Marvelous! My never ending saga is with Joyce's Ulysses. I have pretty much read the entire thing, but only in pieces. Sometimes I get through some 300 pages like a breeze. At other times 10 pages will bog me down for months, especially if I start researching the deeper meaning embedded within each chapter. Plus, I always have a dozen or so books that I am reading at one time. I perhaps have something akin to the attention span of a goldfish when it comes to reading only one book at a time. Nevertheless, I have given myself the next thirty or so years to finish Ulysses, at one time, from start to finish, with no other books in distraction. So, one day, and someday hopefully sooner than later...
Thank you for the kind words. It means a lot to me. Joyce’s Ulysses is quite the book! I think the thing about these long classic novels is that due to their complexity and length you can develop a relationship with them over a long period of time. That complexity comes at first from the author and their excellent craft, but later you realize it also comes from you the reader. Your soul, if you let it, becomes transformed by the beauty that lies within the pages of a story. Reading slowly is has long been disparaged and discounted. I believe our liquidly modern society has forgotten the virtue of patience. Bless you in your reading of Joyce. Sometimes the slow road is the better one. For some stories it may be the only one. ❤️
"I believe our liquidly modern society has forgotten the virtue of patience." Hear, hear! as Patience is most certainly one of our lost virtues! I cannot believe you just said this, as I ever so often say this, especially to the younger people in my family. Did we pick this up from somewhere? Aristotle, perhaps? Either way, it is so true! And regarding the relationship with these lengthy books... I often sit with Joyce, or Plato (as of late) and think about someone reading my work 100 years, heck 2000+ years from now, and not only that, but again, and again, and again. It is hard to grasp a relationship like that with such longevity, such that no doubt transforms the reader. It is truly a powerful thing! Anyhow, keep up the great writing, Zina. I so look forward to reading it.
Such a beautiful post. This is a heart wrenching read but uplifting too. And your experience with AK is a bit like mine with opera. When I first discovered it (I didn't come from a musical family) I always knew it would be important to me, but sensed it couldn't happen while I was so young. That was true. But I wrongly thought that I needed to know more about music in order to "get" opera. In fact, and your essay helps me to see this, it was life that I needed to know more about in order to appreciate the true beauty of the form.
Jeffrey, thank you so much for your kind words. What you say about opera is so interesting, and it makes so much sense. Have you seen this article by Dana Gioia? https://hudsonreview.com/2024/02/the-imaginary-operagoer-a-memoir/
It is a wonderful recollection, and Dana is an incredible poet and critic in his own right.
I think you will appreciate the piece that is launching tomorrow about a particular piece of classical music. The story behind it is quite touching. In the end, this is what art is at its best. It isn't soulless AI-generated drivel. It is the work of real lived experience, especially the most painful moments. Good art delights us, but the best art heals us.
Finally, I must say this, it is an honor that you read my post. I have admired your work and look up to you as a writer. I only started writing last year with no following whatsoever and barely any writing under my belt in decades since I left college. Substack has given me a way to share all these thoughts I have had stuck in my brain for so long. This platform has given me a voice.
Zina, thank you for the tip about the Dana Gioia essay, which I enjoyed reading. And I look forward to the piece that's launching tomorrow! Thank you for your kind words about my writing. And I love what you say about Substack giving you a chance to share thoughts that had been stuck in your brain. When I came to Substack last September, having retired from full-time employment a year earlier, I wasn't sure whether any of my long-buried desire to write had survived the long winter of bureaucratic life. A few months later, and thanks to the support of many great people here, I'm happy to be still writing, still learning.
Such a beautiful post. This is a heart wrenching read but uplifting too. And your experience with AK is a bit like mine with opera. When I first discovered it (I didn't come from a musical family) I always knew it would be important to me, but sensed it couldn't happen while I was so young. That was true. But I wrongly thought that I needed to know more about music in order to "get" opera. In fact, and your essay helps me to see this, it was life that I needed to know more about in order to appreciate the true beauty of the form.
Zina, apologies for taking a few days to get to this after you referred me to it. So glad you did! So many things occurred to me to say about it as I read that for the sake of brevity, I need to reduce them to this: how fully human this essay is, vulnerable and sharing and wide in its references, infused with the love of books and reading and relationship, in such delicate, fluid writing, it was an easy and touching pleasure. I can't not read you now! (Aha, that was the plan. ;)
Zina, Would you be interested in coming on my podcast to talk about poetry, what you are learning, and a favorite poem off yours to illustrate? I will be posting my poems in a linked podcast.
Sure. Just send me an email! ❤️
Can you guess the second poem's honoree
Zina, the first set dates to 2014, 2023 and somewhere in between, respectively. They may have been too strong for you and your current situation. Whatever that is. I apologize. The first in a time of grieving, and I think I may have shared it already. The second was actually written for a competition to write a poem in honor of The poem's title is the same as one of his works.The last is a piece just done for fun to see how tightly I could express the meaning of the gifts and the fruits of the spirit. I have now read about the gifts in more detail, and I realize I didn't actually get them right, so I may need to revise.
These were gems to me because I remember the old versions and these have been substantially improved. I was deeply moved :-).
I first heard these versions yesterday. I came upon them by accident and don't even remember making the recordings. I apologize if they were too much for you, so I hope you went into the second set which is lovelier, certainly more serene.
The thing that struck me the most about the poems when read was the element of alliteration and internal rhyme that seems to me more sophisticated than I have usually achieved.
These are wonderful, Ann! Thank you so much and I can hear so much of yourself in it. I just have not been able to respond because I wanted to finish all of them, and I want to make sure I have some uninterrupted time (very hard in this house!). Anyway, thank you so much for sharing this with me. It is truly an honor! <3
Next one coming
https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/htfm8dvraq9odwk7nhhx9/Poems-2.m4a?rlkey=78mtbgp42or63gavt8q64i345&dl=0
If that doesn't work try this:
https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/fv0e6eu6daoxkgre51jia/Poems-1.m4a?rlkey=8brfy79bj9udmbl09i1q4q1sp&dl=0
https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/fv0e6eu6daoxkgre51jia/Poems-1.m4a?rlkey=8brfy79bj9udmbl09i1q4q1sp&dl=0
It worked!
Zina, I found some gems I thought I’d share. For those who love poetry, and for people who struggle, grieve, or seek peace. I am typing this on my phone so I don't know how this will go.
I think I will have to copy and paste so I will put them in my podcasts also. Pardon me.
I am ready when you are. Take your time! ❤️
AK is my all-time favorite book. I’ve read it in both the original Russian and in two (or maybe three?) English translations (my favorite many times over), and every time I return to it, I find something new to delight me and make me fall in love with Tolstoy all over again. AK has become a touchstone for all the highs and lows in my life, and I return to it not only for that sense of wonder I discovered within its pages the first time I read it as a very young woman, early on in college, but also for the reminder of all I have enjoyed and endured thus far. It is a source of encouragement and gratitude I depend on when life knocks me around a bit--a gift from Leo Tolstoy I will never be able to thank him enough for, and the embodiment of all I cherish most about literature.
I have now heard from a number of people for whom Anna has changed their lives. I think there are so many characters that it is easy to identify with someone. It must be wonderful to be able to read it in the original Russian. I wish I could. Language is pregnant with culture. Thank you for sharing your love of AK! ❤️
Zina, I was deeply moved by this essay, so calm, almost tranquil, while talking about deep pain. I can't read tragedies right now--I identify too strongly--just as I can't read horror stories. They take up residence in my skull and haunt me.
I am so sorry you have had such pain. But I am grateful your husband is there with you. Our hearts are fragile fluttering things, easily crushed but capable of great and generous love. I am with you in spirit-- I have not written that part of my life yet.
Thank you so much, Ann. It’s a hard part to write. I went on a New York trip where I met my Catherine Project classmates and teacher. I struggled to answer questions about my life and this was a way of answering one of them. I hope you can get the opportunity to tell your own story when you wish to, if you wish to.
This is wonderful! I’d read your comment in The Books That Made Us about your threshold goal, and I loved the way you worded it. Because this year I am reading fewer books too. And I am very committed to not surpassing my goal!
I love this story about Anna Karenina too. It did not take me 30 years to read the book but it took what felt like an eternity.
Lovely post, thank you! 🫶🏽🥰
And then after 30 years you can read a different translation:). I first read AK in my early twenties for pretty much the same reason and rereading now I’m struck by the exploration of marriage in the same way.
I don’t think you can read Anna as a young unmarried person and get as much out of this novel. It’s such a different book as a middle aged person. I would love to do a comparison of different translations. I did that with Bros K.