Growing up my siblings and friends called me Di but when I became a registered nurse and worked in hospitals I couldn't answer the phone, "Di here" ! 🙄
I love all your names. It is so funny how each name shows a certain facet of a person's relationship to you. Mom is such a wonderful name because it comes with such a gift and responsibility. And it is with you for a lifetime.
This was a very endearing essay, and Zina it is. If someone contacts me first, I call them by however they sign their email, and if I'm making the first contact, I start off by being as formal as seems proper—making adjustments upon each correction. I always addressed my students by honorific plus last name until they graduated. The switch to a first-name basis then became a rite of passage. I'm always amazed at how comfortable some people are about assigning me some name of their own choice, no matter what I tell them. Professionally, I use all three of my names, simply because there is another Robert Skipper from Texas who is also a professor of philosophy?! I met him at a conference one time when I noticed that I seemed to be scheduled to deliver a paper on a topic I knew nothing about, and I started to get worried. We agreed then and there how we would thenceforth sign our articles. We never stopped getting each other's mail from publishers. BTW, I prefer simply "Skipper."
Hi Skipper, thank you for the thoughtful comment. I really like your approach when talking to students and that "rite of passage" into being called by first names. And how interesting to have another Robert Skipper in the same professional circle! There is another Zina Gomes out in the world but with an S instead of a Z because she is Portuguese. A mother at my daughter's school said she grew up with this "other Zina" who spells her first name the same. It was quite the coincidence. Fortunately for me I decided to hyphenate my last name so I have a pretty distinct combination.
Great essay Zina. Names are funny and also very intimate for the crowd that knows us by each one. My given name is Matthew Michael (devout Catholic parents also name my brothers Luke and Marc but John never came along). However, the name was shortened to Matt early on and most everyone who knows me from childhood use that. Many people still use Matt today. In the Navy we always used ranks or last names. I prefer Matthew and usually introduce myself as such but I will answer to anything as long as it is used respectfully.
Matthew Michael is a wonderful Catholic name. I often see Matthew being shortened to Matt, and my family friend's young son goes by Matty (but I don't see that name much). I think a name used with respect is key. In one of the other comments, a boss had given a nickname in a negative way. The name itself was neutral, but the intent was to demean. And I think that is the interesting thing about names... how by giving a new name is a sort of societal power. I have family members in the military and the going by ranks and last names absolutely reframes or reinforces an important social dynamic and chain of command.
I really admire your flexibility and willingness to be called many names. There have only been 3 people whom I've ever allowed to call me by a nickname. One of my great uncles & a friend from Peru called me Angie. A friend from high school who called me Jelly. Otherwise, I only accept Angela... It's who I am and how I see myself.
I think from a young age I saw so many Filipinos go by multiple names that it was something I knew I was going to have to get used to for myself. Just having such an odd baby name, Tin-Tin, was interesting as a kid. For me, I don't see Angie fitting your personality. I absolutely love your name as Angela. My confirmation name is Angela: https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/saint/st-angela-of-the-cross-165 and I liked her nickname "Angelita"
Thanks for this post. I can definitely relate. The name my parents gave me was Lloyd
Lloyd after Frank Lloyd Wright, Lloyd after Prime Minister Lloyd George of England. The name came with baggage--be an architect or a diplomat/politician. In college I Iearned the origin of the name Lloyd was Grey and in Lord of the Rings there was Gandalf the Grey and there was a TV show "The Grey Ghost" . I hated the "oy" sound in Lloyd especially when my Japanese friends called me "woyd" as there is no L in Japanese. Anyway I told everyone in college my name was Grey. So everyone who knew me after 18 knows me as Grey. Now only my family and extended family call me Lloyd. As it turns out my wife's name is Leslie and the origin of Leslie is "of the Grey fort" Kind of prophetic. I love your name Zina--there's such a zestiness to the sound of it.
Your birth name story is so interesting. I love Grey and the way you also had a name change at 18. It seems to be the right age for rechristening one's self. I also think it is wonderful that your wife's name turns out to be so related to your name. PROVIDENTIAL!
We haven’t met in real life (yet, one never knows), so I think of you as Zina. As you are the only Zina I know, you are extra special and memorable.
My names are not as diverse. If someone knew me before I started second grade, I am Jenny. The outliers are two of my nephews who call me Aunt Jenny. Starting in second grade I went by Jennifer. Since I lived in a generation populated by many, many Jennifers this could be complicated. My high school swim team had three of us (out of 18 girls total). We each had a separate version (Jen, Jenny, Jennifer). Most people now either call me Jennifer or Jen. My goddaughter and her siblings (who are also like godchildren to us), call me Nina Jen.
I toyed with going by my middle name, Elizabeth, in middle school after a move and my first reading of Pride and Prejudice, but I ultimately didn’t. Since my adult life is less over populated by Jennifers, it hasn’t seemed as important. These days I am usually Mommy or Mom. Or Mom, Mom, Mom.
Mom, Mom, Mom is a name I know well too! LOL And yes, when I was growing up there were so many Jennifers. My sister-in-law is Jennifer and she prefers to be called Jenn with two Ns. But when she was little she was Jenny. I think that the whole spelling issue is interesting with Jennifer but also very confusing... Jennie, Jenny, Jen, Jenn. So hard to know how to get everyone's spelling right.
Hopefully we can meet in person sometime... maybe a Close Reads related event?
You'll always be Zina to me. But when you told me you were Christine before you were Zina, I felt honored and privileged to have been given the gift of your name. Especially since my own middle name is Christine.
Christine is of those names that is mine, but is so rarely used that I sometimes wonder why I have it. And yet when my parents call me Melanie Christine... I feel especially known and loved in a different way. That name really belongs to my childhood and to immediate family. It's not secret, but it is intimate.
Almost everyone just calls me Melanie. And that's my preference. I don't really love the nickname "Mel" because boys at school used to call me that in a way I didn't like. Also a manager at a job I disliked took it upon himself to call me Mel at our first meeting. It wasn't a nice thing. It felt like a power move and I hated it. But there is a small handful of people, mostly relatives and a few close friends, who can call me that shorter version of my name in a way that makes me feel loved and cherished and that doesn't grate at all.
Oh, how wonderful that your middle name is Christine. Yes, when a name is yours but so rarely used it seems to be like a secret passcode to your heart. At least that is how I have always felt. I've always hoarded my name, but now it seems quite hopeless. I can't control who knows what so I am basically giving people the keys to my heart and telling everyone to drive responsibly! LOL
Giving a person a name that you know they don't like is totally a power move. It's a way of showing that they can control your identity and if you acquiesce or don't stand up for what you want to be called it is like they are redrawing them for you and taking a piece of something that doesn't belong to them. However, when loved ones give a name out of love and affection then it certainly feels different because it was not done out of some weird power play.
Thanks for sharing this, Zina! I think you'll always be Zina to me, but it's fun to know we almost share a name! I get called Christine all the time, and I answer, but I do wonder how it's so hard (even for folks I've known for a while) to remember the difference.
I have somehow almost entirely escaped nicknames. Out of nowhere, a friend tried "Tina" on me the other day, and the look of disgust I gave him ended that very quickly. It made sense for a nickname...but I have never felt it was a fitting one for me! :)
Oh, yes. Christina and Christine have so many nicknames. like Chris, Chrissy, Christie, Tina and all the various spellings. I used to be a little bothered by the Christina and Christine confusion, but it happened so much that you just get used to it. And given my nickname is Zina it is easy to think that it is short for Christina.
It's fun to be almost name twins with you. I still remember when we met randomly in Dallas. Who would have thought that we would basically see each other every month on Zoom!
This was a fun and interesting read, Zina! I had no idea of all your names. My name is Natalie but my closest family and friends usually call me Nat. In college, I was christened Natty and Nattyloo by my roommates. Nattyloo is a combination of my first and middle names (Lucy).
Well, I guess I am calling you Natalie! I love that Nattyloo comes from Natalie Lucy! Isn't it funny how many nicknames really are terms of endearment.
Growing up my siblings and friends called me Di but when I became a registered nurse and worked in hospitals I couldn't answer the phone, "Di here" ! 🙄
That is utterly hilarious!
I, too, have many names: Rhea Ellen, Sweet Patootie, Raunie, Rhea, Mrs. Forney, auntie, and maybe my favorite, mom. Most just call me Rhea.
I appreciate how this essay called me to sit and reflect on this early Tuesday morning. Thank you, Zina.
I love all your names. It is so funny how each name shows a certain facet of a person's relationship to you. Mom is such a wonderful name because it comes with such a gift and responsibility. And it is with you for a lifetime.
This was a very endearing essay, and Zina it is. If someone contacts me first, I call them by however they sign their email, and if I'm making the first contact, I start off by being as formal as seems proper—making adjustments upon each correction. I always addressed my students by honorific plus last name until they graduated. The switch to a first-name basis then became a rite of passage. I'm always amazed at how comfortable some people are about assigning me some name of their own choice, no matter what I tell them. Professionally, I use all three of my names, simply because there is another Robert Skipper from Texas who is also a professor of philosophy?! I met him at a conference one time when I noticed that I seemed to be scheduled to deliver a paper on a topic I knew nothing about, and I started to get worried. We agreed then and there how we would thenceforth sign our articles. We never stopped getting each other's mail from publishers. BTW, I prefer simply "Skipper."
Hi Skipper, thank you for the thoughtful comment. I really like your approach when talking to students and that "rite of passage" into being called by first names. And how interesting to have another Robert Skipper in the same professional circle! There is another Zina Gomes out in the world but with an S instead of a Z because she is Portuguese. A mother at my daughter's school said she grew up with this "other Zina" who spells her first name the same. It was quite the coincidence. Fortunately for me I decided to hyphenate my last name so I have a pretty distinct combination.
I like to call you "Beauty" 💝.
You are too sweet! Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️
Great essay Zina. Names are funny and also very intimate for the crowd that knows us by each one. My given name is Matthew Michael (devout Catholic parents also name my brothers Luke and Marc but John never came along). However, the name was shortened to Matt early on and most everyone who knows me from childhood use that. Many people still use Matt today. In the Navy we always used ranks or last names. I prefer Matthew and usually introduce myself as such but I will answer to anything as long as it is used respectfully.
Matthew Michael is a wonderful Catholic name. I often see Matthew being shortened to Matt, and my family friend's young son goes by Matty (but I don't see that name much). I think a name used with respect is key. In one of the other comments, a boss had given a nickname in a negative way. The name itself was neutral, but the intent was to demean. And I think that is the interesting thing about names... how by giving a new name is a sort of societal power. I have family members in the military and the going by ranks and last names absolutely reframes or reinforces an important social dynamic and chain of command.
I really admire your flexibility and willingness to be called many names. There have only been 3 people whom I've ever allowed to call me by a nickname. One of my great uncles & a friend from Peru called me Angie. A friend from high school who called me Jelly. Otherwise, I only accept Angela... It's who I am and how I see myself.
I think from a young age I saw so many Filipinos go by multiple names that it was something I knew I was going to have to get used to for myself. Just having such an odd baby name, Tin-Tin, was interesting as a kid. For me, I don't see Angie fitting your personality. I absolutely love your name as Angela. My confirmation name is Angela: https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/saint/st-angela-of-the-cross-165 and I liked her nickname "Angelita"
Wow, neat! I had not heard of this St. Angela... Thanks for sharing her story. ☺️
Thanks, too, for affirming my name. Your vote of confidence is reassuring.
I think Zina is a lovey name and I thoroughly enjoyed this delightful essay!
Thank you so much, Jeffrey! Also, I married a Jeffrey, and it is very nice to see a beloved name repeat itself out in the world!
Hi Zina,
Thanks for this post. I can definitely relate. The name my parents gave me was Lloyd
Lloyd after Frank Lloyd Wright, Lloyd after Prime Minister Lloyd George of England. The name came with baggage--be an architect or a diplomat/politician. In college I Iearned the origin of the name Lloyd was Grey and in Lord of the Rings there was Gandalf the Grey and there was a TV show "The Grey Ghost" . I hated the "oy" sound in Lloyd especially when my Japanese friends called me "woyd" as there is no L in Japanese. Anyway I told everyone in college my name was Grey. So everyone who knew me after 18 knows me as Grey. Now only my family and extended family call me Lloyd. As it turns out my wife's name is Leslie and the origin of Leslie is "of the Grey fort" Kind of prophetic. I love your name Zina--there's such a zestiness to the sound of it.
Your birth name story is so interesting. I love Grey and the way you also had a name change at 18. It seems to be the right age for rechristening one's self. I also think it is wonderful that your wife's name turns out to be so related to your name. PROVIDENTIAL!
And thank you! Zina does have a zest to it!
We haven’t met in real life (yet, one never knows), so I think of you as Zina. As you are the only Zina I know, you are extra special and memorable.
My names are not as diverse. If someone knew me before I started second grade, I am Jenny. The outliers are two of my nephews who call me Aunt Jenny. Starting in second grade I went by Jennifer. Since I lived in a generation populated by many, many Jennifers this could be complicated. My high school swim team had three of us (out of 18 girls total). We each had a separate version (Jen, Jenny, Jennifer). Most people now either call me Jennifer or Jen. My goddaughter and her siblings (who are also like godchildren to us), call me Nina Jen.
I toyed with going by my middle name, Elizabeth, in middle school after a move and my first reading of Pride and Prejudice, but I ultimately didn’t. Since my adult life is less over populated by Jennifers, it hasn’t seemed as important. These days I am usually Mommy or Mom. Or Mom, Mom, Mom.
Mom, Mom, Mom is a name I know well too! LOL And yes, when I was growing up there were so many Jennifers. My sister-in-law is Jennifer and she prefers to be called Jenn with two Ns. But when she was little she was Jenny. I think that the whole spelling issue is interesting with Jennifer but also very confusing... Jennie, Jenny, Jen, Jenn. So hard to know how to get everyone's spelling right.
Hopefully we can meet in person sometime... maybe a Close Reads related event?
I'll call you Zina since that is the name by which I met you!
And you will always be Diane to me!
You'll always be Zina to me. But when you told me you were Christine before you were Zina, I felt honored and privileged to have been given the gift of your name. Especially since my own middle name is Christine.
Christine is of those names that is mine, but is so rarely used that I sometimes wonder why I have it. And yet when my parents call me Melanie Christine... I feel especially known and loved in a different way. That name really belongs to my childhood and to immediate family. It's not secret, but it is intimate.
Almost everyone just calls me Melanie. And that's my preference. I don't really love the nickname "Mel" because boys at school used to call me that in a way I didn't like. Also a manager at a job I disliked took it upon himself to call me Mel at our first meeting. It wasn't a nice thing. It felt like a power move and I hated it. But there is a small handful of people, mostly relatives and a few close friends, who can call me that shorter version of my name in a way that makes me feel loved and cherished and that doesn't grate at all.
Oh, how wonderful that your middle name is Christine. Yes, when a name is yours but so rarely used it seems to be like a secret passcode to your heart. At least that is how I have always felt. I've always hoarded my name, but now it seems quite hopeless. I can't control who knows what so I am basically giving people the keys to my heart and telling everyone to drive responsibly! LOL
Giving a person a name that you know they don't like is totally a power move. It's a way of showing that they can control your identity and if you acquiesce or don't stand up for what you want to be called it is like they are redrawing them for you and taking a piece of something that doesn't belong to them. However, when loved ones give a name out of love and affection then it certainly feels different because it was not done out of some weird power play.
Thanks for sharing this, Zina! I think you'll always be Zina to me, but it's fun to know we almost share a name! I get called Christine all the time, and I answer, but I do wonder how it's so hard (even for folks I've known for a while) to remember the difference.
I have somehow almost entirely escaped nicknames. Out of nowhere, a friend tried "Tina" on me the other day, and the look of disgust I gave him ended that very quickly. It made sense for a nickname...but I have never felt it was a fitting one for me! :)
Oh, yes. Christina and Christine have so many nicknames. like Chris, Chrissy, Christie, Tina and all the various spellings. I used to be a little bothered by the Christina and Christine confusion, but it happened so much that you just get used to it. And given my nickname is Zina it is easy to think that it is short for Christina.
It's fun to be almost name twins with you. I still remember when we met randomly in Dallas. Who would have thought that we would basically see each other every month on Zoom!
This was a fun and interesting read, Zina! I had no idea of all your names. My name is Natalie but my closest family and friends usually call me Nat. In college, I was christened Natty and Nattyloo by my roommates. Nattyloo is a combination of my first and middle names (Lucy).
Well, I guess I am calling you Natalie! I love that Nattyloo comes from Natalie Lucy! Isn't it funny how many nicknames really are terms of endearment.