The True Story of a Painless Birth

My husband said that when the midwife handed me the baby I looked so surprised.

Hello, readers!

I know I try to just send out these once a week, but I saw this post on

Other Feminisms

about childbirth, and it reminded me that I had one birth experience that, for the life of me, I don’t think anyone else has mentioned having.

Witnessing Birth

My fourth child was a “painless” birth that did not require any medication, special hypnosis techniques, or orgasmic birth training. (Before anyone hates on me, I was in active labor with my 3rd baby baby who was in a sideways position. After hours of excruciating pain and massaging I had an epidural. I started in L&D at 1pm, received the epidural at 4pm, and finally gave birth at 7pm.)

How did I have a painless birth? I can’t say for sure, but I think it has to do with the fact I had very intense prodromal labor for over a month. I remember that my contractions were so powerful and regular that my husband had rushed me to the hospital twice thinking that we were going to have a baby only to be sent home. That said, I have never heard of these types of contractions leading to a painless birth.

So the story is this… it was the morning of Martin Luther King Jr. Day. The Patriots had just lost the previous night, and my mom had stayed over to watch the game with us. It was about 9am in the morning when the contractions kicked up a notch and I thought, “Oh, maybe this time.” My mom was able to stay home with the kids, and since it was a holiday, my husband and I had no traffic on our drive to the hospital in Brighton.

When I got to L&D the midwife checked me and said it looked like I was actually ready to have a baby that day. Since I was calm and relaxed she asked if she could go downstairs to see a patient, and when she came up she checked me again and said, “Okay, it looks like you are ready to push.”

“What do you mean?”

“Yes, I see the baby. She’s coming.”

“Uh, okay. [Pause] Are you sure?”

“Yes, just bear down with the contractions.”

And so I did.

“She’s crowning. Keep pushing!”

“Wait… where’s the ring of fire?!”

“Push again!”

I pushed a few more times.

“Here she is!”

“What..?!”

Yes, that’s me and the baby. Look how happy and not sweaty I am!

And the midwife plants this beautiful, pink baby on my chest. The little girl checked in at 20” long and weighed 8 lbs. and 14 oz. This was not a small baby. Again, my husband said I looked so surprised during the whole labor. My midwife said, “I wish every woman could give birth like that.”

I casually walked out of our L&D room, past a statue of St. Gerard, patron saint of pregnancy, childbirth, and mothers. (Since I was at a Catholic hospital he was right outside our door.) As I strolled out to the recovery room the nurses said it didn’t even look like I had a baby.

As I rested over the next couple of days the nurses kept offering me pain relief. I only took Advil once at the insistence of a pushy nurse. But really, I didn’t need it, and my body bounced back right away.

My husband was at my side the whole time and can corroborate the whole story.

And here’s the funny thing, and the part you will all appreciate, my fifth baby was NOT painless. She was a non-medicated delivery in the same hospital. I was shocked to return to the normal birth for my last baby, but relatively speaking, she was not that painful either. I did end up taking a necessary dose of Advil after that one.

First night in the hospital with a beautiful but very hungry baby.

I have had five pregnancies. They were all very different, but I have never heard of anyone else having a painless birth like my fourth.

Let me know if you hear any stories like this. I want to compare notes with other mothers. Also, feel free to forward to any midwives, doulas, or ob-gyns you know to see if they had mothers who have had a similar experience.